Lessons in the art of the 'poker face'.

Thwarted as I was, yesterday, in my attempt to sample Primary Human's tofu and salad, I was forced to find amusement elsewhere. I don't think I would have cared for tofu salad anyway--what can't that woman ever bring a Nicoice or Calabrese? Anyway, Blogosphere, you may me surprised to know that to amuse ourselves, after the humans leave, we--the shelter cats--play poker. You scoff--how can a cat play poker? Well, aren't you the one reading the blog of an oddly loquacious feline? At any rate, this is our custom. We play for crunchies, and I usually win, reader. I possess an uncanny ability when it comes to the 'poker face', and Lady Gaga knows nothing. Most will say that it is all about controlling your tell--the thing that gives you away--but then they go back to their daily routine, without any thought of their constant change in expression. Here is what I have discovered: choose one facial expression, and never vary--ever. I considered several emotions to portray--fatigue, ennui, and of course, disgust--but in the end, I chose surprise. It is simple, easy to maintain, and throws everyone off guard--not just your poker opponents. The only time it hasn't worked, was during the aforementioned incident with the taking of my temperature. Already looking surprised, facially, I had nowhere to go... I digress. Choose your face, never change, win all the crunchies. That is my advice.