It is well documented that people who have one or more pets have greater longevity and overall health than those without animal companions. I am an animal companion, so it only seems reasonable to deduce that I am beneficial to your health-- you just don't know it yet.
Blogoshpere, I need a home. Don't worry, I'm not about to hit you with images of us poor, lonely shelter animals; but it is high time someone recognize my splendid qualities, take me to a nice, quiet home--with a desk--and lavish on me the love, attention, and crunchies I crave.
In return for this, I can promise you the following:
1) I will never complain to you about my day.
2) I will not be remotely concerned about your personal affairs that are none of my business, ie: how much time you spend on Face Book, reality shows you watch, science experiments in your fridge, whether or not your ______ is/are natural, what kind of car you drive, or anything involving your personal credit and/or hygiene. Give me food, shelter, care, and love (and a desk) and I don't care about the rest.
3) I will not bark at visitors.
4) I will not leave my socks on the floor, or toilet seat up.
5) I will keep my Reggae music at a reasonable volume.
Blogosphere, I don't mean to complain--but it is time for me to get out of this shelter. Don't get me wrong, they take good care of us, but my personal growth is being stifled. How can I try new foods surrounded by sandwich-munching nitwits? The radio station of my life is stuck on 'Easy Listeneng'. It's time for the next stage of my life to begin, Blogosphere. If you are my soul mate, please respond ASAP.
Yo, Mike. If we had room for one more we would welcome you into our home. I have a desk. It is messy, and I am sure we would have hours of enlightening conversation. However, there is Pie the unfriendly. Gooseberry, well he is a case study unto himself, and our new addition, Tuesday. You may have known him from his days in the kitten room. It is a crowded house. We do, wish you the best in your quest for personal growth elbow room and cuisine befitting your experimental pallate.
ReplyDeleteDave and Jen